Good People:
A Sermon Given in Two Parts
March 12, 2017
by Laurel Hemmer and Kirk Upton
At the auction I bid on a service offered by the Frisella family. 4 hours of babysitting. As parents of a then 10 year old, this sounded lovely. Time went by and Amy reminded us and summer came. The pool was open. Kirk and I were ready for a date night. I emailed Amy. We picked a date. I emailed Amy again admitting I was feeling a little guilty. Here she and Mary were giving up their time to watch our son so we could go out to dinner. Amy’s response: no guilt required.
We drop JD off, he and Hailey are gone in a split second. We return a few hours later to be warmly invited into the Frisella’s home, to sit by a bonfire, to watch the children running happily in the yard, and to share stories of happy times.
While putting JD to bed that night I felt so blessed. We cuddled as he told me about his evening and I realized how much we all enjoyed ourselves. I couldn’t help but say, “I like the Frisellas. They’re good people” to which Jefferson wisely responded, “Everyone at our church are good people.”
Now while this may not be grammatically correct, his meaning was clear and true. Everyone at our church are good people. What makes a 10 year old say something with such a strong commitment, an open mind, and a knowing heart? The people – the people you are presently surrounded by and the people that are not in the pews today yet have been here in the past and may be here again in the future. The people here are what makes a 10 year old say “everyone at our church are good people” with a strong commitment, an open mind, and a knowing heart. Look around . . . . What makes us good people? . . .. take a minute to really think about it . . . . . Kirk and I have pondered this question and here are our thoughts on the matter.
I believe that Jefferson’s quote about “good people” speaks to the fact that he and hopefully each and everyone of us here is met with true love, interest, and commitment when he walks through these doors or sees people from this community outside of these walls. As Jack Kornfield says, “The things that matter most in our lives are not fantastic or grand.” For Jefferson, I believe it is in the way so many of you smile at him, ask him questions, welcome him to join you in the pew, at the table, to help with a craft or a meal, go for a boat ride, or toast a marshmallow over the fire. It is in the enthusiasm I see in other children’s eyes as they run off on some mission or fun adventure. It is in the acceptance of who he is as sometimes a shy child, sometimes a goofy child, sometimes a very intelligent boy who seeks to talk about history, and the many other faces he feels comfortable enough to show here. Jack Kornfield goes on to say, “this simple and profound intimacy is the love we all long for.”
There is something about my experiences of being a UU that make me proud and humble in every cell of my body. Perhaps it is this underlying knowledge that the UU’s I know are “good people.” Yet what makes someone “good people.” In the second excerpt I read, Gabriel Garcia Marquez says, “Always say what you feel, and do what you think is good and right.” This could be a definition for a good UU. He goes on to speak about how he would treat someone if he knew it was the last time he would see them – embracing them, kissing them, listening to each word. When I think of why I consider the people I know in this congregation to be such good people it is these little things - It is asking “how are you?” and waiting for the answer. It’s giving a hug and then holding on or adding a small squeeze. It’s looking someone in the eye. It is accepting each other’s opinions, whether they are similar or different. It is in telling someone you don’t like what they did in a respectful way. It is in showing gratitude for someone’s work. It’s taking time to attend meetings and participate in services and millions of little things yet it is so much more.
Reverend Georgeanne once reminded us that as UU’s it is our job to discover our own spirituality. There is no one doctrine or creed. We need to figure it out on our own – of course, with lots of support and guidance and encouragement. I remember the day she said her driving force was kindness and asked us what ours was. I spent a lot of time considering this – if I had one guiding principle, what would it be? In the end, what was most true to me was “connection.” Reverend Craig continues to challenge us to think week in and week out about what makes us more human and how can we live this life of ours in the most human way possible. Again, for me, that is through connection. The fact that so many of you genuinely stop and take time to connect with me or my family or each other is a wonderful achievement. Well, achievement sounded better than “a wonderful thing” and as I sat with this word I think it is an achievement. Each day each of us makes more choices than we can imagine. And over and over again our UU principles encourage us to promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person, compassion in human relations, respect for all beings, and more. We do not do this by standing by and watching, although this is part of it. We do this by actively connecting with those around us. Listening to each other, responding to each other with care and kindness, offering help, challenging each other, and respecting every part of our world inside and outside of these walls. I think what makes this a real living thing inside this church community is that I truly am myself. I bring no airs, no judgement, no resentments. I bring myself. I bring myself knowing that I will be loved, accepted, supported, listened to . . . . I bring myself to this community knowing I am liked, knowing those around me like each other. I bring myself to this community knowing we are all here because we choose to be here and because we believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person.
I believe this is why the last excerpt I read spoke to me, the one about marriage. Joseph Campbell states that “marriage is an ordeal; it means yielding time and again. That’s why it is a sacrament: you give up your personal simplicity to participate.” Here, instead of giving to the relationship of the marriage, we are giving to the community. By participating and sharing who we are we are doing the exact opposite of impoverishment – we are creating a community that is “life building, life fostering, enriching.” And in this way we continue to grow, we continue to flower.
The world continues to be full of tumult and sadness and events inconceivable and desiring us to close our eyes and re-open them and hope the news headlines were just a mirage. The world also continues to be full of wonder and beauty and goodness that is strong and ever present. And each time I am discouraged and think: “How can I have a positive impact on the ugliness in this world?” I remind myself that each day I live my life with the foundation of the UU principles and I take time to connect with others. In doing so, I am having a positive impact on this world. And so are each and every one of you. We are helping each other grow. We are helping each other flower.
Look around, look around: you are sitting among good people.
*************************************************************************************************************************************
I’d like to being my portion of the sermon with a reading from Laozi, the Daoist philosopher who lived some 3000 years ago.
We put thirty spokes together and call it a wheel;
But it is on the space where there is nothing
That the usefulness of the wheel depends.
We turn clay to make a vessel;
But it is on the space where there is nothing
That the usefulness of the vessel depends.
We pierce doors and windows to make a house;
And it is on these spaces where there is nothing
That the usefulness of the house depends.
Therefore just as we take advantage of what is,
We should recognize the usefulness of what is not.
What makes UUs good people? To me the answer is an openness to the universality of the human experience. For many years, I struggled with the idea of “organized religion” because it felt too confining. As a teacher of ancient world history, I spend a good deal of time helping 14 year olds understand the myriad of religious and philosophical ideas that have emerged around the world over the span of 5000 years - Sumerian polytheism, Greek humanism, Brahmanism of early India, Confucianism and Daoism of ancient China, and the interconnected monotheistic ideas of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. To try to take my knowledge and experience of the variety of religious concepts and experiences, and set it aside in favor of a single expression of “truth” runs counter to the rational parts of my mind - and to the very concept of open-mindedness that I am trying to instill in my students. How could there be a single answer, a single “truth” for everyone the world over, when it was so clear that many people, sharing a similar search for meaning in life, had either found or created so many different answers? What makes UUs good people? For me the answer lies in the universality of water and walls.
A couple of summers ago. Laurel, Jefferson, and I did a summer service. My portion focused on Robert Fulghum’s explanation of the nature of the divine as explained through water. Fulghum’s story is about an airplane trip that he shared with a hydrologist, a scientist studying water. The short version is that the hydrologist explained the absolute universal need for water. All people, all life, is dependent upon water. In fact all life on Earth is made of water - no water, no life. And yet, across the globe each society has a different name for water - agua, ama, wai, nam, ab, wasser. Societies consume the water in different ways - hot, cold, mixed with other things. Societies carry the water in different containers. And yet, none of these things, not names or mixes or vessels, change the nature of the water. Nor do they change our need for water. As a hiker in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, I learned firsthand the vital importance of water to staying alive. It was lesson one in my Wilderness First Aid course - no water, no life.
What I find inspiring about Unitarian Universalism, what makes UUs good people, is the openness to this very idea that, just as there is not one single word for the water we need to live, there is not one, single answer to the meaning of life. That we are all on a journey, searching for a source of life-giving water. We may call it by different names, enjoy it in different forms, carry it in different vessels, but ultimately we are all made of the same stuff - water. In the Unitarianism and Universalism, I finally found an “organized religion” that was open to this universal search, this commonality of experience. Here was a church with no strict dogma that had to be followed, without excluding other possible answers or ideas. But at the same time, there was something here: people. People who were sharing their search, sharing their ideas, sharing their questions. A community of thinkers, of thinking people gathered together in a shared space. An open-minded space.
Now this church here, the BUUC building itself, is our shared space. It is physically built of stone and wood, four walls and a ceiling. But it is not the building that defines this church. The building is merely the vessel. While the stones and the wood are the materials from which the building is built, it is the empty space within it that makes the building useful. Because it is in this empty space, this sacred space of thinking and sharing, that the usefulness of the vessel becomes apparent. People, good people, gather together in this space, free from dogma or exclusion, and become a community. It is in this space between the walls where we can find the water, the source of life. And it is only through the empty spaces of the doors that we can welcome each other into this empty space.
We turn clay to make a vessel, we stack stones to make a church;
But it is in the space where there is nothing, this open space, open to ideas and questions,
That the usefulness of the vessel depends, that this UU community can explore the universality of the human experience.
Just as we take advantage of what is,
We should recognize the usefulness of what is not.
So may it be.
Pope Benedict 16
“The universality of human experience, which transcends all geographical boundaries and cultural limitations, makes it possible for followers of religions to engage in dialogue so as to grapple with the mysteries of life’s joys and sufferings. At their core, human relations cannot be defined in terms of power, domination, and self-interest. Rather, they reflect and perfect man’s natural inclination to live in communion and accord with others.”
A Sermon Given in Two Parts
March 12, 2017
by Laurel Hemmer and Kirk Upton
At the auction I bid on a service offered by the Frisella family. 4 hours of babysitting. As parents of a then 10 year old, this sounded lovely. Time went by and Amy reminded us and summer came. The pool was open. Kirk and I were ready for a date night. I emailed Amy. We picked a date. I emailed Amy again admitting I was feeling a little guilty. Here she and Mary were giving up their time to watch our son so we could go out to dinner. Amy’s response: no guilt required.
We drop JD off, he and Hailey are gone in a split second. We return a few hours later to be warmly invited into the Frisella’s home, to sit by a bonfire, to watch the children running happily in the yard, and to share stories of happy times.
While putting JD to bed that night I felt so blessed. We cuddled as he told me about his evening and I realized how much we all enjoyed ourselves. I couldn’t help but say, “I like the Frisellas. They’re good people” to which Jefferson wisely responded, “Everyone at our church are good people.”
Now while this may not be grammatically correct, his meaning was clear and true. Everyone at our church are good people. What makes a 10 year old say something with such a strong commitment, an open mind, and a knowing heart? The people – the people you are presently surrounded by and the people that are not in the pews today yet have been here in the past and may be here again in the future. The people here are what makes a 10 year old say “everyone at our church are good people” with a strong commitment, an open mind, and a knowing heart. Look around . . . . What makes us good people? . . .. take a minute to really think about it . . . . . Kirk and I have pondered this question and here are our thoughts on the matter.
I believe that Jefferson’s quote about “good people” speaks to the fact that he and hopefully each and everyone of us here is met with true love, interest, and commitment when he walks through these doors or sees people from this community outside of these walls. As Jack Kornfield says, “The things that matter most in our lives are not fantastic or grand.” For Jefferson, I believe it is in the way so many of you smile at him, ask him questions, welcome him to join you in the pew, at the table, to help with a craft or a meal, go for a boat ride, or toast a marshmallow over the fire. It is in the enthusiasm I see in other children’s eyes as they run off on some mission or fun adventure. It is in the acceptance of who he is as sometimes a shy child, sometimes a goofy child, sometimes a very intelligent boy who seeks to talk about history, and the many other faces he feels comfortable enough to show here. Jack Kornfield goes on to say, “this simple and profound intimacy is the love we all long for.”
There is something about my experiences of being a UU that make me proud and humble in every cell of my body. Perhaps it is this underlying knowledge that the UU’s I know are “good people.” Yet what makes someone “good people.” In the second excerpt I read, Gabriel Garcia Marquez says, “Always say what you feel, and do what you think is good and right.” This could be a definition for a good UU. He goes on to speak about how he would treat someone if he knew it was the last time he would see them – embracing them, kissing them, listening to each word. When I think of why I consider the people I know in this congregation to be such good people it is these little things - It is asking “how are you?” and waiting for the answer. It’s giving a hug and then holding on or adding a small squeeze. It’s looking someone in the eye. It is accepting each other’s opinions, whether they are similar or different. It is in telling someone you don’t like what they did in a respectful way. It is in showing gratitude for someone’s work. It’s taking time to attend meetings and participate in services and millions of little things yet it is so much more.
Reverend Georgeanne once reminded us that as UU’s it is our job to discover our own spirituality. There is no one doctrine or creed. We need to figure it out on our own – of course, with lots of support and guidance and encouragement. I remember the day she said her driving force was kindness and asked us what ours was. I spent a lot of time considering this – if I had one guiding principle, what would it be? In the end, what was most true to me was “connection.” Reverend Craig continues to challenge us to think week in and week out about what makes us more human and how can we live this life of ours in the most human way possible. Again, for me, that is through connection. The fact that so many of you genuinely stop and take time to connect with me or my family or each other is a wonderful achievement. Well, achievement sounded better than “a wonderful thing” and as I sat with this word I think it is an achievement. Each day each of us makes more choices than we can imagine. And over and over again our UU principles encourage us to promote the inherent worth and dignity of every person, compassion in human relations, respect for all beings, and more. We do not do this by standing by and watching, although this is part of it. We do this by actively connecting with those around us. Listening to each other, responding to each other with care and kindness, offering help, challenging each other, and respecting every part of our world inside and outside of these walls. I think what makes this a real living thing inside this church community is that I truly am myself. I bring no airs, no judgement, no resentments. I bring myself. I bring myself knowing that I will be loved, accepted, supported, listened to . . . . I bring myself to this community knowing I am liked, knowing those around me like each other. I bring myself to this community knowing we are all here because we choose to be here and because we believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every person.
I believe this is why the last excerpt I read spoke to me, the one about marriage. Joseph Campbell states that “marriage is an ordeal; it means yielding time and again. That’s why it is a sacrament: you give up your personal simplicity to participate.” Here, instead of giving to the relationship of the marriage, we are giving to the community. By participating and sharing who we are we are doing the exact opposite of impoverishment – we are creating a community that is “life building, life fostering, enriching.” And in this way we continue to grow, we continue to flower.
The world continues to be full of tumult and sadness and events inconceivable and desiring us to close our eyes and re-open them and hope the news headlines were just a mirage. The world also continues to be full of wonder and beauty and goodness that is strong and ever present. And each time I am discouraged and think: “How can I have a positive impact on the ugliness in this world?” I remind myself that each day I live my life with the foundation of the UU principles and I take time to connect with others. In doing so, I am having a positive impact on this world. And so are each and every one of you. We are helping each other grow. We are helping each other flower.
Look around, look around: you are sitting among good people.
*************************************************************************************************************************************
I’d like to being my portion of the sermon with a reading from Laozi, the Daoist philosopher who lived some 3000 years ago.
We put thirty spokes together and call it a wheel;
But it is on the space where there is nothing
That the usefulness of the wheel depends.
We turn clay to make a vessel;
But it is on the space where there is nothing
That the usefulness of the vessel depends.
We pierce doors and windows to make a house;
And it is on these spaces where there is nothing
That the usefulness of the house depends.
Therefore just as we take advantage of what is,
We should recognize the usefulness of what is not.
What makes UUs good people? To me the answer is an openness to the universality of the human experience. For many years, I struggled with the idea of “organized religion” because it felt too confining. As a teacher of ancient world history, I spend a good deal of time helping 14 year olds understand the myriad of religious and philosophical ideas that have emerged around the world over the span of 5000 years - Sumerian polytheism, Greek humanism, Brahmanism of early India, Confucianism and Daoism of ancient China, and the interconnected monotheistic ideas of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. To try to take my knowledge and experience of the variety of religious concepts and experiences, and set it aside in favor of a single expression of “truth” runs counter to the rational parts of my mind - and to the very concept of open-mindedness that I am trying to instill in my students. How could there be a single answer, a single “truth” for everyone the world over, when it was so clear that many people, sharing a similar search for meaning in life, had either found or created so many different answers? What makes UUs good people? For me the answer lies in the universality of water and walls.
A couple of summers ago. Laurel, Jefferson, and I did a summer service. My portion focused on Robert Fulghum’s explanation of the nature of the divine as explained through water. Fulghum’s story is about an airplane trip that he shared with a hydrologist, a scientist studying water. The short version is that the hydrologist explained the absolute universal need for water. All people, all life, is dependent upon water. In fact all life on Earth is made of water - no water, no life. And yet, across the globe each society has a different name for water - agua, ama, wai, nam, ab, wasser. Societies consume the water in different ways - hot, cold, mixed with other things. Societies carry the water in different containers. And yet, none of these things, not names or mixes or vessels, change the nature of the water. Nor do they change our need for water. As a hiker in the White Mountains of New Hampshire, I learned firsthand the vital importance of water to staying alive. It was lesson one in my Wilderness First Aid course - no water, no life.
What I find inspiring about Unitarian Universalism, what makes UUs good people, is the openness to this very idea that, just as there is not one single word for the water we need to live, there is not one, single answer to the meaning of life. That we are all on a journey, searching for a source of life-giving water. We may call it by different names, enjoy it in different forms, carry it in different vessels, but ultimately we are all made of the same stuff - water. In the Unitarianism and Universalism, I finally found an “organized religion” that was open to this universal search, this commonality of experience. Here was a church with no strict dogma that had to be followed, without excluding other possible answers or ideas. But at the same time, there was something here: people. People who were sharing their search, sharing their ideas, sharing their questions. A community of thinkers, of thinking people gathered together in a shared space. An open-minded space.
Now this church here, the BUUC building itself, is our shared space. It is physically built of stone and wood, four walls and a ceiling. But it is not the building that defines this church. The building is merely the vessel. While the stones and the wood are the materials from which the building is built, it is the empty space within it that makes the building useful. Because it is in this empty space, this sacred space of thinking and sharing, that the usefulness of the vessel becomes apparent. People, good people, gather together in this space, free from dogma or exclusion, and become a community. It is in this space between the walls where we can find the water, the source of life. And it is only through the empty spaces of the doors that we can welcome each other into this empty space.
We turn clay to make a vessel, we stack stones to make a church;
But it is in the space where there is nothing, this open space, open to ideas and questions,
That the usefulness of the vessel depends, that this UU community can explore the universality of the human experience.
Just as we take advantage of what is,
We should recognize the usefulness of what is not.
So may it be.
Pope Benedict 16
“The universality of human experience, which transcends all geographical boundaries and cultural limitations, makes it possible for followers of religions to engage in dialogue so as to grapple with the mysteries of life’s joys and sufferings. At their core, human relations cannot be defined in terms of power, domination, and self-interest. Rather, they reflect and perfect man’s natural inclination to live in communion and accord with others.”
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