Help Wanted: Apply Within
Sermon given at the Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church
February 5, 2017
by The Rev. Craig M. Nowak
A number of years ago, I attended a small rally at city hall in Hartford, Connecticut. There were maybe 40 people there. At some point a local news station showed up. A report and camera person approached me and asked what was going on and if I would agree to be interviewed for television. The problem was I wasn’t the organizer of the rally. Now, I was wearing a clerical collar while everyone else, including the rally organizer was in so-called “plain clothes.” So, I introduced the reporter to the organizers. Even then, the rally organizer asked me if I was willing to be interviewed for television. I agreed and so somewhere buried in the archives of a local news station in Hartford, is a recording of my television debut.
This story provides an interesting glimpse into our cultural understanding of leadership in the United States, including what a leader looks like. In American culture, a leader is still, by and large, assumed to be male, white, and dressed a certain way. When I worked as a hospital chaplain and wore my clerical collar, people would inevitably address me as Father, Pastor or Reverend.
When my female colleagues wore a clerical collar, they often reported patients and sometimes hospital staff asking, “What do I call you?” Are you a lay minister…or volunteer? “I didn’t know women could be priests?”
The difference in assumptions held even if I wore a jacket and tie. Then, I was often assumed to be a doctor or administrator until I introduced myself as a chaplain. My female colleagues, absent the clerical collar, were often assumed to be social workers or receptionists. Non-white colleagues regardless of how they were dressed were at times assumed to be students, religious fundamentalists, or foreigners.
Of course appearance, race and gender are not the only assumptions we make, however unconsciously, about leaders. We also hold a lot of assumptions about what leaders do or traits leaders possess. Leaders are confident and tell people what to do, we say…and how to do it. Leaders are courageous and valiantly step up or out in front to show people the way. Leaders are people like Martin Luther King, Jr. who’ve got that “vision thing” going on and inspire others follow them. Leaders have special titles or important jobs.
Given these and other assumptions about who and what a leader is, it is not surprising that when asked, “Are you a leader?” most people answer, “No.” Including people for whom some of the assumptions about leaders and leadership we make are true.
Before I found Unitarian Universalism as an adult, I would never have considered myself a leader. Even though I had been an officer in high school and college clubs, was a supervisor at the job I had during college and later held positions with a high degree of autonomy and influence in my first career and even owned my own business, I rarely, if ever thought of myself as a leader.
When I showed up at a UU church for the first time, I didn’t know a soul. It was a large church, about five hundred members. Being an introvert…definitely not a leadership trait to my mind at the time, I enjoyed the anonymity I initially experienced there. I could come and go as I pleased and no one really noticed. But then I found I wanted a deeper connection to the church and this faith but I didn’t know how to go about it. I found big, unstructured gatherings, like coffee hour draining and it seemed no one talked to me unless I talked first…something that again, as an introvert, can take tremendous effort.
So I went and talked to the minister. She told me what I thought she might, but was sort of… kind of… hoping wasn’t true: Attending worship regularly is great and important, but to experience a deeper sense of connection and belonging will require getting involved in church life outside of Sunday worship. She then asked if I had considered attending one or more of the groups or committees that meet at the church or signing up to attend or help at a church event. She advised me not to rush into any long term commitment, but to try out things as opportunities arose or as my curiosity or interest was piqued.
I took some of her advice to heart in that I spent time thinking about what kind of things I like doing. In his book, “Serving With Grace: Lay Leadership As A Spiritual Practice”, Erik Walker Wikstrom, notes, “In a healthy congregation there are generally two kind of work for lay people- committee work and hands-on tasks.” Walker asserts people drawn to committee work most enjoy work that involves discussion and planning while people drawn to hands-on work like best to be physically engaged in doing or carrying out an activity rather than discussing or planning it. Naturally, some people enjoy both. I know myself to be a process person and thus have a preference for the kind of work committees do. And so I started exploring and joining committees.
Now, my minister at the time also advised me that, at church, “no” was as valid a response to requests as “yes.” In other words, it is important to know and express your limits. I didn’t take this advice very seriously, which when coupled with my limited notion of a leader being the chairperson, most active or most dependable member of a committee, meant I found myself serving as a Deacon, Chair of the Welcoming Congregation Committee, Congregational Representative to the UUSC, Small Group Ministry Leader, member of the Social Justice Council and maybe one or two other things I can’t recall anymore…all at the same time.
Eventually, I came to the hard realization that I had taken on too much and had to step back or away from some of these. I certainly didn’t feel like much of a leader at that point. In fact, I remember at the time being personally quite embarrassed. The church was far more forgiving of me than I was of myself. It seems I wasn’t the first person to overcommit.
The experience prompted me to think more deeply about who or what a leader is and what leadership is ultimately all about. A reflection that proved invaluable as I began to discern and respond to my call to ministry.
The first thing I realized is that a leader cannot be narrowly defined. A leader is not a gender, a skin color, a uniform, or a title. This seems like a no brainer, but as my experience with the news reporter and as a Chaplain attest, these assumptions are deep seated in American culture. I also realized a leader is not a person who necessarily tells others what to do or how to it. That may describe a person’s leadership style, but it is not a definition of a leader.
Indeed, regardless of style, all true leadership combines the recognition of opportunity or need…with the act of discernment. Which is to say, leaders live, consciously or not, by the mantra, “Help Wanted: Inquire Within.”
Which is why I do believe leaders are “vision” people. But their vision at its core, including the vision of famous leaders we honor with national holidays, is far less grandiose yet no less profound than we might imagine. In our first reading, Marge Piercy writes, “The pitcher cries for water to carry and person for work that is real.” The core vision of a leader, is a life engaged in work that is real. A life that matters.
Here too it is easy to get trapped by assumptions. My bet is what most people consider work that is real is not work most people recognize or do themselves. Take the work of the church, for example. Some might say we do good work, but not work that is real, not like Piercy surely means. We’re too small or the work is too mundane for that.
You might get some pushback on that though from the soldier in Iraq, who wrote to my preaching instructor, a UU minister in Boston, thanking her for sermons posted on the church website which he credited with helping him endure his deployment. Or the five hundred or so people who have visited the BUUC website in the week after the inauguration. I have seen my own writings and sermons referenced on blogs, in other church’s newsletters and sermons, and most of those non-UU.
And still some may think, oh well that’s the minister. True, but its not just the minister. I may write and speak, but there’s also this pulpit here, a building to preach in, a community to preach to… all thanks to the hard work of others…not mention a website where the sermon gets posted afterward and person to post the sermon to the website (Thank you, Barb).
All of these, which in isolation may seem like tasks as “common as mud” to use Piercy’s language…when done well and in service to something greater, ”take on a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.” The shape of purpose and meaning.
Which brings me to another realization about leaders. As people whose core vision is a life that matters, leaders are people who necessarily give of themselves in some way. And “To give”, the author of our second reading writes, “… is to tell the truth of who I am.” As people who give of themselves leaders, are people who are working out their theology or life philosophy in real time, which is to say, telling the truth of who they are. Something that continues to unfold and deepen the more a person gives him/herself to things that matter.
I’ve shared many times that one of irrefutable arguments, to my mind, against my call to ministry was I don’t…I can’t do pubic speaking. And I know I’m not the only one in this room who once believed similarly about themselves. Giving myself to my call meant public speaking. It meant working my theology of wholeness out in real time. And in doing so I discovered truths about myself and my potential I had long denied.
Again, giving as telling the truth about who we are…as a means of living our theology in real time, extends to all the different ways we give or serve here at the church. When you engage in giving or service here from coffee hour prep to serving on a committee, singing in the choir, or helping set up or break down tables and such after an event you are living your theology in real time…telling the truth about who you are: a person who has something to give, who has received from life, whose presence matters, and who has found meaning through connection and attention to things larger than yourself.
Lastly, while all leaders are people who seek and give themselves to work that is real and through giving tell the truth of who they are as they work out their theology in real time, individual leadership styles vary.
The charismatic, high energy style is the one that seems to get the most attention, admiration and occasionally scorn. This style does tend to tell people what to do and how to do it. In case it is not obvious, that’s not my style. Just saying.
I’ve come to describe my leadership style as invitational. I and others who share this style do a lot of behind the scene ground work that includes reading and reflection, theological inquiry and such and then seeking opportunities and ways to invite people to see things from a slightly different perspective, to ask questions that aren’t always immediately obvious and facilitate self-discovery. I can certainly shift to a more declarative mode if need be, but I prefer to extend a hand rather than twist an arm.
Another style is one I think most overlooked and yet arguably most common. Its seems to be the preferred style of those who may not think of themselves as leaders, or who do not have official titles or authority granted by their professional status… or a uniform. This is the do what needs to be done if and when I can style. This the style of people who arrive early to an event or meeting to turn up the heat or who upon noticing a light left on will go back and turn it off. It’s the style of people who pick up litter off the lawn or sidewalk or stay to wash dishes after a meal and the person who takes a minute to send a member, staff person and even the minister an email or note of thanks now and then. They’re sometimes thought of as people who just seem to always do the right thing.
It is my hope that the words spoken this morning have given you food for thought about leaders and leadership, particularly in the context of service here at the church. For what and how we think about leaders and leadership determines whether or not we consider someone or ourselves leaders… people engaged in work that is real…living a life that matters. And so, in closing I leave you with two questions to consider:
Are you a leader? How do you know?
Amen and Blessed Be
Sermon given at the Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church
February 5, 2017
by The Rev. Craig M. Nowak
A number of years ago, I attended a small rally at city hall in Hartford, Connecticut. There were maybe 40 people there. At some point a local news station showed up. A report and camera person approached me and asked what was going on and if I would agree to be interviewed for television. The problem was I wasn’t the organizer of the rally. Now, I was wearing a clerical collar while everyone else, including the rally organizer was in so-called “plain clothes.” So, I introduced the reporter to the organizers. Even then, the rally organizer asked me if I was willing to be interviewed for television. I agreed and so somewhere buried in the archives of a local news station in Hartford, is a recording of my television debut.
This story provides an interesting glimpse into our cultural understanding of leadership in the United States, including what a leader looks like. In American culture, a leader is still, by and large, assumed to be male, white, and dressed a certain way. When I worked as a hospital chaplain and wore my clerical collar, people would inevitably address me as Father, Pastor or Reverend.
When my female colleagues wore a clerical collar, they often reported patients and sometimes hospital staff asking, “What do I call you?” Are you a lay minister…or volunteer? “I didn’t know women could be priests?”
The difference in assumptions held even if I wore a jacket and tie. Then, I was often assumed to be a doctor or administrator until I introduced myself as a chaplain. My female colleagues, absent the clerical collar, were often assumed to be social workers or receptionists. Non-white colleagues regardless of how they were dressed were at times assumed to be students, religious fundamentalists, or foreigners.
Of course appearance, race and gender are not the only assumptions we make, however unconsciously, about leaders. We also hold a lot of assumptions about what leaders do or traits leaders possess. Leaders are confident and tell people what to do, we say…and how to do it. Leaders are courageous and valiantly step up or out in front to show people the way. Leaders are people like Martin Luther King, Jr. who’ve got that “vision thing” going on and inspire others follow them. Leaders have special titles or important jobs.
Given these and other assumptions about who and what a leader is, it is not surprising that when asked, “Are you a leader?” most people answer, “No.” Including people for whom some of the assumptions about leaders and leadership we make are true.
Before I found Unitarian Universalism as an adult, I would never have considered myself a leader. Even though I had been an officer in high school and college clubs, was a supervisor at the job I had during college and later held positions with a high degree of autonomy and influence in my first career and even owned my own business, I rarely, if ever thought of myself as a leader.
When I showed up at a UU church for the first time, I didn’t know a soul. It was a large church, about five hundred members. Being an introvert…definitely not a leadership trait to my mind at the time, I enjoyed the anonymity I initially experienced there. I could come and go as I pleased and no one really noticed. But then I found I wanted a deeper connection to the church and this faith but I didn’t know how to go about it. I found big, unstructured gatherings, like coffee hour draining and it seemed no one talked to me unless I talked first…something that again, as an introvert, can take tremendous effort.
So I went and talked to the minister. She told me what I thought she might, but was sort of… kind of… hoping wasn’t true: Attending worship regularly is great and important, but to experience a deeper sense of connection and belonging will require getting involved in church life outside of Sunday worship. She then asked if I had considered attending one or more of the groups or committees that meet at the church or signing up to attend or help at a church event. She advised me not to rush into any long term commitment, but to try out things as opportunities arose or as my curiosity or interest was piqued.
I took some of her advice to heart in that I spent time thinking about what kind of things I like doing. In his book, “Serving With Grace: Lay Leadership As A Spiritual Practice”, Erik Walker Wikstrom, notes, “In a healthy congregation there are generally two kind of work for lay people- committee work and hands-on tasks.” Walker asserts people drawn to committee work most enjoy work that involves discussion and planning while people drawn to hands-on work like best to be physically engaged in doing or carrying out an activity rather than discussing or planning it. Naturally, some people enjoy both. I know myself to be a process person and thus have a preference for the kind of work committees do. And so I started exploring and joining committees.
Now, my minister at the time also advised me that, at church, “no” was as valid a response to requests as “yes.” In other words, it is important to know and express your limits. I didn’t take this advice very seriously, which when coupled with my limited notion of a leader being the chairperson, most active or most dependable member of a committee, meant I found myself serving as a Deacon, Chair of the Welcoming Congregation Committee, Congregational Representative to the UUSC, Small Group Ministry Leader, member of the Social Justice Council and maybe one or two other things I can’t recall anymore…all at the same time.
Eventually, I came to the hard realization that I had taken on too much and had to step back or away from some of these. I certainly didn’t feel like much of a leader at that point. In fact, I remember at the time being personally quite embarrassed. The church was far more forgiving of me than I was of myself. It seems I wasn’t the first person to overcommit.
The experience prompted me to think more deeply about who or what a leader is and what leadership is ultimately all about. A reflection that proved invaluable as I began to discern and respond to my call to ministry.
The first thing I realized is that a leader cannot be narrowly defined. A leader is not a gender, a skin color, a uniform, or a title. This seems like a no brainer, but as my experience with the news reporter and as a Chaplain attest, these assumptions are deep seated in American culture. I also realized a leader is not a person who necessarily tells others what to do or how to it. That may describe a person’s leadership style, but it is not a definition of a leader.
Indeed, regardless of style, all true leadership combines the recognition of opportunity or need…with the act of discernment. Which is to say, leaders live, consciously or not, by the mantra, “Help Wanted: Inquire Within.”
Which is why I do believe leaders are “vision” people. But their vision at its core, including the vision of famous leaders we honor with national holidays, is far less grandiose yet no less profound than we might imagine. In our first reading, Marge Piercy writes, “The pitcher cries for water to carry and person for work that is real.” The core vision of a leader, is a life engaged in work that is real. A life that matters.
Here too it is easy to get trapped by assumptions. My bet is what most people consider work that is real is not work most people recognize or do themselves. Take the work of the church, for example. Some might say we do good work, but not work that is real, not like Piercy surely means. We’re too small or the work is too mundane for that.
You might get some pushback on that though from the soldier in Iraq, who wrote to my preaching instructor, a UU minister in Boston, thanking her for sermons posted on the church website which he credited with helping him endure his deployment. Or the five hundred or so people who have visited the BUUC website in the week after the inauguration. I have seen my own writings and sermons referenced on blogs, in other church’s newsletters and sermons, and most of those non-UU.
And still some may think, oh well that’s the minister. True, but its not just the minister. I may write and speak, but there’s also this pulpit here, a building to preach in, a community to preach to… all thanks to the hard work of others…not mention a website where the sermon gets posted afterward and person to post the sermon to the website (Thank you, Barb).
All of these, which in isolation may seem like tasks as “common as mud” to use Piercy’s language…when done well and in service to something greater, ”take on a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.” The shape of purpose and meaning.
Which brings me to another realization about leaders. As people whose core vision is a life that matters, leaders are people who necessarily give of themselves in some way. And “To give”, the author of our second reading writes, “… is to tell the truth of who I am.” As people who give of themselves leaders, are people who are working out their theology or life philosophy in real time, which is to say, telling the truth of who they are. Something that continues to unfold and deepen the more a person gives him/herself to things that matter.
I’ve shared many times that one of irrefutable arguments, to my mind, against my call to ministry was I don’t…I can’t do pubic speaking. And I know I’m not the only one in this room who once believed similarly about themselves. Giving myself to my call meant public speaking. It meant working my theology of wholeness out in real time. And in doing so I discovered truths about myself and my potential I had long denied.
Again, giving as telling the truth about who we are…as a means of living our theology in real time, extends to all the different ways we give or serve here at the church. When you engage in giving or service here from coffee hour prep to serving on a committee, singing in the choir, or helping set up or break down tables and such after an event you are living your theology in real time…telling the truth about who you are: a person who has something to give, who has received from life, whose presence matters, and who has found meaning through connection and attention to things larger than yourself.
Lastly, while all leaders are people who seek and give themselves to work that is real and through giving tell the truth of who they are as they work out their theology in real time, individual leadership styles vary.
The charismatic, high energy style is the one that seems to get the most attention, admiration and occasionally scorn. This style does tend to tell people what to do and how to do it. In case it is not obvious, that’s not my style. Just saying.
I’ve come to describe my leadership style as invitational. I and others who share this style do a lot of behind the scene ground work that includes reading and reflection, theological inquiry and such and then seeking opportunities and ways to invite people to see things from a slightly different perspective, to ask questions that aren’t always immediately obvious and facilitate self-discovery. I can certainly shift to a more declarative mode if need be, but I prefer to extend a hand rather than twist an arm.
Another style is one I think most overlooked and yet arguably most common. Its seems to be the preferred style of those who may not think of themselves as leaders, or who do not have official titles or authority granted by their professional status… or a uniform. This is the do what needs to be done if and when I can style. This the style of people who arrive early to an event or meeting to turn up the heat or who upon noticing a light left on will go back and turn it off. It’s the style of people who pick up litter off the lawn or sidewalk or stay to wash dishes after a meal and the person who takes a minute to send a member, staff person and even the minister an email or note of thanks now and then. They’re sometimes thought of as people who just seem to always do the right thing.
It is my hope that the words spoken this morning have given you food for thought about leaders and leadership, particularly in the context of service here at the church. For what and how we think about leaders and leadership determines whether or not we consider someone or ourselves leaders… people engaged in work that is real…living a life that matters. And so, in closing I leave you with two questions to consider:
Are you a leader? How do you know?
Amen and Blessed Be
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