Two Steps and Missteps:
Church Membership for Human Beings
Sermon given at the Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church
February 7, 2016
by The Rev. Craig M. Nowak
Dedication
This sermon is dedicated to you. You, the first, second, third time... beyond time visitor. You, the longtime member. You, the child. You, the friend who has attended for years but never signed the book. You, who have left and come back, sometimes more than once. You, the staff person. All of you, who make this gathering of individuals a community of faith.
Whenever I tell someone I’m a Unitarian Universalist, I’m inevitably met with one of three remarkably consistent responses. They are: “Cool, sometimes followed by, “me too.” ( which is the rarest response). Next is, “Oh” or its silent manifestation, a slight head nod (which usually means the person has not idea what that is and doesn’t care or want to ask); and then there’s the most common, “What’s that?” “What’s that?” comes in a few varieties. Sometimes it’s just a plain, “What’s that?” Other times people follow, “What’s that?” with, “Is it like Scientology?” or “It’s that new church, right?”
Now, I could...and have...attempted to respond to “What’s that?” with a brief history lesson tracing the roots of our tradition to theologies dating back to the early decades of the Christian church, debated and fine tuned in the centuries following the Protestant Reformation, and formalized as distinct denominations, the Universalists and the Unitarians, in the US in the late 18th and early 19th century until their merger in 1961 formed the Unitarian Universalist Association.
This is all well and fine. I mean, I like history. But not everyone does. Further, the history answer to “What’s that?” with respect to Unitarian Universalism, not only bores people not particularly interested in history, it doesn’t really answer the question behind the question. “What’s that?”, in my experience, really means, “What do you believe?” We are after all talking about a religion and for most people religion equals belief. And indeed, most religions are defined by and organized around a common belief, often formalized and stated as a creed.
Unitarian Universalism however is not. Even the principles and purposes which we read together in our responsive reading and the choir sung, do not constitute, as is commonly thought, a creed or statement of belief.
Rather, they are aspirational statements which form the basis of our association’s covenant, a solemn promise we make to one another about how we will be together and in the world as we pursue paths of spiritual depth and growth. Thus, when it comes to defining Unitarian Universalism, the question is not so much one of belief, but of relationship.
This is why it is hard for someone to be a Unitarian Universalist (UU) who doesn’t come to church, doesn’t remain connected or participate in some way in the life of the community. Belief alone does not a Unitarian Universalist make. It’s like learning to dance. You won’t get too far without a dance partner to practice, learn and grow with. Indeed, one can hear this realization behind the words of a woman named Jane Roper in an article she wrote entitled, “Why I Finally Joined a Church.”
Revealing early in the article that she has just joined a Unitarian Universalist Church, Roper writes of what she wants for her children, “I want them to see a group of people can work together, give of their time and talents, and support each other through life’s joys and sorrows not because they’re family or even necessarily friends, but because they believe that it’s an important part of being human. I also want to expose them to good, old-fashioned community in a world where, increasingly, community happens only in virtual spaces.” She continues, “I’m a huge fan of blogs, Facebook and Twitter, but I don’t think there will ever be a substitute for sharing the same physical space with a group of people — having conversations, making music together, offering each other a handshake, a smile, or a word of sympathy.”
Roper lifts up some of the best of what church has historically offered people and what is often hard to find in our own day; the very qualities, experiences and relationships that most inspire people to join and then support their church through attendance, volunteering, skill sharing and monetary giving, all of which are vital for a church to thrive and part of what it means to be a church member in most churches, including here at Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church (BUUC).
Church feels good...we feel good... when we experience church as the kind of place Roper describes in her article. It brings to life the theological concept articulated in the second musical offering the choir sang today, “Porque donde dos o tres se reunen en mi nobre, alli estoy yo, en medio de ellos.” (“Because where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am, in the midst of them.”). Words familiar perhaps, to some of us, from the Gospel of Matthew.
If we broaden the theology beyond the Christian tradition, it essentially reminds us, the holy, however we might individually define it, is made manifest in relationships.
I love when I’m aware of this at work in my experience of church. It’s pretty awesome when I realize it. I’m happy to say I have left many a service or meeting, and even pastoral visits feeling so uplifted, so connected to the source of life that anything seemed possible and the weight of all my worries, great and small, silly and serious, was somehow lighter. On those days I practically floated back out into the world high on this fantastic gift called life that church, the people, the words, the music, helped me connect to deeply.
Those experiences are great, they are real, and they are important. But if this is all we hope for or expect out of church, at some point we’re going to be let down. And some of us will leave.
That fact is church is both a wonderfully and woefully human institution. Sometimes it takes a while to notice this. As Philip Appleman reminds us in his humorous poem, “O Karma, Dharma, pudding & pie”, our humanity is a complex mix of desires, beliefs, egos and aspirations. Therefore it’s wise for us church people to maintain a healthy sense of humor about ourselves and to remember that when we enter the church we don’t check our humanity at the door, we bring it in and sometimes we, “bring it on.” And that’s okay.
As the noted Unitarian theologian James Luther Adams said in our call to worship, “Church is a place where you get to practice what it means to be human.”
Even the loftiest of ideals and noblest of efforts cannot shield us from the fact that sometimes people and the things they do and say get on our nerves. Stick around long enough and buttons will be pushed. Personalities will clash. People will say or do things that offend us or that we don’t agree with. And it is in these moments, far more than the good times, that your commitment to your spiritual growth -the practice of what it means to be human- which really lies at the heart of church membership, will be most tested.
In The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoyevsky wrote, “In my dreams, I often make plans for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually face crucifixion if it were suddenly necessary. Yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together....In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose.... But it has always happened that the more I hate men individually the more I love humanity.”
With that last line Dostoyevsky reminds us that even, or perhaps especially, within the experience of challenge in human relationships there is opportunity for growth. Theologically speaking, God, goddess, the breathe of life, they holy- however you choose to name or conceive of it- is there at work, inviting, connecting us to what is needed...whether the two or three gathered are your best friends or a person you can’t stand at the moment.
Dostoyevsky, moved to a deep recognition of the human condition through his own difficult relationships is moved toward greater compassion for humankind.
The challenge for any one of us, whether we’re a new or long time member, friend, first time visitor or frequent visitor...and even the minister...is to remember and seek this transformative presence in our midst when church isn’t everything we’d like or hope it to be.
One of my mentors, whenever I was facing a challenge, would ask, “Where, what or to whom are you being called in this situation?” Being able to stop, ask and reflect on that question... to be able to identify the manifestation of the holy even within the most challenging situation saved me from burning bridges in anger, helped me set healthier boundaries with people, and kept me motivated to continue in seminary and the ministerial credentialing process when I it seemed too difficult and I wanted to walk away from it all. These were the times, more than those of spiritual levity, that helped push me out of my comfort zone and grow most dramatically as a person.
All of you here today have or will have, if you continue to attend, experiences both rewarding and disappointing. Sometimes the sermon will inspire you, other times it will bore you or even make you mad. Sometimes you’ll like the music, sometimes you won’t. Not everyone, including you, will be at their best every time you’re here. People will sometimes exchange hard words or be preoccupied with other thing. But there will be many times people will be kind, generous, and attentive too.
You see, few are those we call saint before they no longer walk among us upon the earth. Until then, most of us are but saints in training...human beings in relationship, discovering and practicing what it means to be human, dancing a dance, with plenty of two-steps and missteps along with way. Won’t you join us?
Amen and Blessed Be
INVITATION TO MEMBERSHIP
(Many thanks to the Rev. Nathan Detering for sharing the following words by the Rev. John Wolf)
John Wolf, the Minister Emeritus of a church in Tulsa, once wrote:
“There is only one reason for joining a Unitarian Universalist church and that is: to support it. You want to support it because it stands against superstition and fear. Because this church points to what is noblest and best in human life. Because it is open to women and men of whatever race, creed, color, place of origin, or sexual orientation.”
“You want to support a Unitarian Universalist church because it has a free pulpit. Because you can hear ideas expressed there which would cost any other minister his or her job. You want to support it because it is a place where children come without being saddled with guilt or terrified of some celestial Peeping Tom, where they can learn that religion is for joy, for comfort, for gratitude and love.
“You want to support it because it is a place where walls between people are torn down rather than built-up. Because it is a place for the religious displaced persons of our time, the refugees from mixed marriages, the unwanted free-thinkers and those who insist against orthodoxy that they must work out their own beliefs.
“You want to support a UU church because it is more concerned with human beings than with dogmas. Because it searches for the holy, rather than dwelling upon the depraved. Because it calls no one a sinner, yet knows how deep is the struggle in each person’s breast and how great is the hunger for what is good.
“You want to support a UU church because it can laugh. Because it stands for something in a day when religion is still more concerned with platitudes than with prejudice and war. You want to support it not because it buys you some insurance policy towards your funeral service, but because it insults neither your intelligence nor your conscience, and because it calls you to worship what is truly worthy of your sacrifice. There is only one reason for joining a Unitarian Universalist church: to support it!”
_________________________________________________________
If these words resonate with you and you have been considering membership or have decided you would like to become a member of the Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church, I invite you to come see me here on the chancel following the service (after the postlude). Thank you.
Church Membership for Human Beings
Sermon given at the Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church
February 7, 2016
by The Rev. Craig M. Nowak
Dedication
This sermon is dedicated to you. You, the first, second, third time... beyond time visitor. You, the longtime member. You, the child. You, the friend who has attended for years but never signed the book. You, who have left and come back, sometimes more than once. You, the staff person. All of you, who make this gathering of individuals a community of faith.
Whenever I tell someone I’m a Unitarian Universalist, I’m inevitably met with one of three remarkably consistent responses. They are: “Cool, sometimes followed by, “me too.” ( which is the rarest response). Next is, “Oh” or its silent manifestation, a slight head nod (which usually means the person has not idea what that is and doesn’t care or want to ask); and then there’s the most common, “What’s that?” “What’s that?” comes in a few varieties. Sometimes it’s just a plain, “What’s that?” Other times people follow, “What’s that?” with, “Is it like Scientology?” or “It’s that new church, right?”
Now, I could...and have...attempted to respond to “What’s that?” with a brief history lesson tracing the roots of our tradition to theologies dating back to the early decades of the Christian church, debated and fine tuned in the centuries following the Protestant Reformation, and formalized as distinct denominations, the Universalists and the Unitarians, in the US in the late 18th and early 19th century until their merger in 1961 formed the Unitarian Universalist Association.
This is all well and fine. I mean, I like history. But not everyone does. Further, the history answer to “What’s that?” with respect to Unitarian Universalism, not only bores people not particularly interested in history, it doesn’t really answer the question behind the question. “What’s that?”, in my experience, really means, “What do you believe?” We are after all talking about a religion and for most people religion equals belief. And indeed, most religions are defined by and organized around a common belief, often formalized and stated as a creed.
Unitarian Universalism however is not. Even the principles and purposes which we read together in our responsive reading and the choir sung, do not constitute, as is commonly thought, a creed or statement of belief.
Rather, they are aspirational statements which form the basis of our association’s covenant, a solemn promise we make to one another about how we will be together and in the world as we pursue paths of spiritual depth and growth. Thus, when it comes to defining Unitarian Universalism, the question is not so much one of belief, but of relationship.
This is why it is hard for someone to be a Unitarian Universalist (UU) who doesn’t come to church, doesn’t remain connected or participate in some way in the life of the community. Belief alone does not a Unitarian Universalist make. It’s like learning to dance. You won’t get too far without a dance partner to practice, learn and grow with. Indeed, one can hear this realization behind the words of a woman named Jane Roper in an article she wrote entitled, “Why I Finally Joined a Church.”
Revealing early in the article that she has just joined a Unitarian Universalist Church, Roper writes of what she wants for her children, “I want them to see a group of people can work together, give of their time and talents, and support each other through life’s joys and sorrows not because they’re family or even necessarily friends, but because they believe that it’s an important part of being human. I also want to expose them to good, old-fashioned community in a world where, increasingly, community happens only in virtual spaces.” She continues, “I’m a huge fan of blogs, Facebook and Twitter, but I don’t think there will ever be a substitute for sharing the same physical space with a group of people — having conversations, making music together, offering each other a handshake, a smile, or a word of sympathy.”
Roper lifts up some of the best of what church has historically offered people and what is often hard to find in our own day; the very qualities, experiences and relationships that most inspire people to join and then support their church through attendance, volunteering, skill sharing and monetary giving, all of which are vital for a church to thrive and part of what it means to be a church member in most churches, including here at Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church (BUUC).
Church feels good...we feel good... when we experience church as the kind of place Roper describes in her article. It brings to life the theological concept articulated in the second musical offering the choir sang today, “Porque donde dos o tres se reunen en mi nobre, alli estoy yo, en medio de ellos.” (“Because where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am, in the midst of them.”). Words familiar perhaps, to some of us, from the Gospel of Matthew.
If we broaden the theology beyond the Christian tradition, it essentially reminds us, the holy, however we might individually define it, is made manifest in relationships.
I love when I’m aware of this at work in my experience of church. It’s pretty awesome when I realize it. I’m happy to say I have left many a service or meeting, and even pastoral visits feeling so uplifted, so connected to the source of life that anything seemed possible and the weight of all my worries, great and small, silly and serious, was somehow lighter. On those days I practically floated back out into the world high on this fantastic gift called life that church, the people, the words, the music, helped me connect to deeply.
Those experiences are great, they are real, and they are important. But if this is all we hope for or expect out of church, at some point we’re going to be let down. And some of us will leave.
That fact is church is both a wonderfully and woefully human institution. Sometimes it takes a while to notice this. As Philip Appleman reminds us in his humorous poem, “O Karma, Dharma, pudding & pie”, our humanity is a complex mix of desires, beliefs, egos and aspirations. Therefore it’s wise for us church people to maintain a healthy sense of humor about ourselves and to remember that when we enter the church we don’t check our humanity at the door, we bring it in and sometimes we, “bring it on.” And that’s okay.
As the noted Unitarian theologian James Luther Adams said in our call to worship, “Church is a place where you get to practice what it means to be human.”
Even the loftiest of ideals and noblest of efforts cannot shield us from the fact that sometimes people and the things they do and say get on our nerves. Stick around long enough and buttons will be pushed. Personalities will clash. People will say or do things that offend us or that we don’t agree with. And it is in these moments, far more than the good times, that your commitment to your spiritual growth -the practice of what it means to be human- which really lies at the heart of church membership, will be most tested.
In The Brothers Karamazov, Dostoyevsky wrote, “In my dreams, I often make plans for the service of humanity, and perhaps I might actually face crucifixion if it were suddenly necessary. Yet I am incapable of living in the same room with anyone for two days together....In twenty-four hours I begin to hate the best of men: one because he’s too long over his dinner, another because he has a cold and keeps on blowing his nose.... But it has always happened that the more I hate men individually the more I love humanity.”
With that last line Dostoyevsky reminds us that even, or perhaps especially, within the experience of challenge in human relationships there is opportunity for growth. Theologically speaking, God, goddess, the breathe of life, they holy- however you choose to name or conceive of it- is there at work, inviting, connecting us to what is needed...whether the two or three gathered are your best friends or a person you can’t stand at the moment.
Dostoyevsky, moved to a deep recognition of the human condition through his own difficult relationships is moved toward greater compassion for humankind.
The challenge for any one of us, whether we’re a new or long time member, friend, first time visitor or frequent visitor...and even the minister...is to remember and seek this transformative presence in our midst when church isn’t everything we’d like or hope it to be.
One of my mentors, whenever I was facing a challenge, would ask, “Where, what or to whom are you being called in this situation?” Being able to stop, ask and reflect on that question... to be able to identify the manifestation of the holy even within the most challenging situation saved me from burning bridges in anger, helped me set healthier boundaries with people, and kept me motivated to continue in seminary and the ministerial credentialing process when I it seemed too difficult and I wanted to walk away from it all. These were the times, more than those of spiritual levity, that helped push me out of my comfort zone and grow most dramatically as a person.
All of you here today have or will have, if you continue to attend, experiences both rewarding and disappointing. Sometimes the sermon will inspire you, other times it will bore you or even make you mad. Sometimes you’ll like the music, sometimes you won’t. Not everyone, including you, will be at their best every time you’re here. People will sometimes exchange hard words or be preoccupied with other thing. But there will be many times people will be kind, generous, and attentive too.
You see, few are those we call saint before they no longer walk among us upon the earth. Until then, most of us are but saints in training...human beings in relationship, discovering and practicing what it means to be human, dancing a dance, with plenty of two-steps and missteps along with way. Won’t you join us?
Amen and Blessed Be
INVITATION TO MEMBERSHIP
(Many thanks to the Rev. Nathan Detering for sharing the following words by the Rev. John Wolf)
John Wolf, the Minister Emeritus of a church in Tulsa, once wrote:
“There is only one reason for joining a Unitarian Universalist church and that is: to support it. You want to support it because it stands against superstition and fear. Because this church points to what is noblest and best in human life. Because it is open to women and men of whatever race, creed, color, place of origin, or sexual orientation.”
“You want to support a Unitarian Universalist church because it has a free pulpit. Because you can hear ideas expressed there which would cost any other minister his or her job. You want to support it because it is a place where children come without being saddled with guilt or terrified of some celestial Peeping Tom, where they can learn that religion is for joy, for comfort, for gratitude and love.
“You want to support it because it is a place where walls between people are torn down rather than built-up. Because it is a place for the religious displaced persons of our time, the refugees from mixed marriages, the unwanted free-thinkers and those who insist against orthodoxy that they must work out their own beliefs.
“You want to support a UU church because it is more concerned with human beings than with dogmas. Because it searches for the holy, rather than dwelling upon the depraved. Because it calls no one a sinner, yet knows how deep is the struggle in each person’s breast and how great is the hunger for what is good.
“You want to support a UU church because it can laugh. Because it stands for something in a day when religion is still more concerned with platitudes than with prejudice and war. You want to support it not because it buys you some insurance policy towards your funeral service, but because it insults neither your intelligence nor your conscience, and because it calls you to worship what is truly worthy of your sacrifice. There is only one reason for joining a Unitarian Universalist church: to support it!”
_________________________________________________________
If these words resonate with you and you have been considering membership or have decided you would like to become a member of the Brookfield Unitarian Universalist Church, I invite you to come see me here on the chancel following the service (after the postlude). Thank you.
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